I don’t remember a lot of my childhood years, do any of
us? I remember running about in my pants around the back garden. I remember
playing in my turtle sand pit. Also trying to kick a football and make my father
proud, that I never done.
Is it important to remember the early years of your
life? When you’re older and you have your own children or you have a
niece/nephew or your friend has a new bairn. It seems to be that those first
few years are some of the most memorable for you as a person. But when you
think back to your own childhood, how important are they to you?
I would personally prefer to be raised by king kong as
my mum and Donkey Kong as my dad. I would have Donald Duck as my wacky Uncle
and Minnie Mouse as my auntie. Would you eat a chocolate bar in the snow?
That’s the question you must ask yourselves. I mean remember when you went on
that first big holiday with your family. At which age do you start to have a
lot of memories? Me? Well probably around 7, 8. I mean how important is your
early life, obviously if it goes all smooth and your loved and well looked
after there shouldn’t be any bad memories. So unless you step on a frog and
blow up the world, which happened to a mate of mine, you should be fine. True
Story.
v
Chips, oh god where do you start? They’re great! I’ll
have mine on a plate please! Wrapped in newspaper? Sure! On the condition
though, that these chips will add to the chances of my death!
Now I know chips are a tad unhealthy, even oven chips
aren’t great for us. But listen to me for a second and listen good, Chips are
great! Imagine dipping your first chip into that puddle of Heinz tomato sauce
that lays there quite the thing on the side of your plate! I mean there is no
better feeling! Blow jobs you say? Point taken, but imagine receiving a blow
job while eating chips. I’ll let you finish off fapping to that image!
How important is food to people when you think about it?
I love digging into a chip roll but if a homeless man asked me for a bite of my
chip butty, I feel I would do the honourable and proud thing of kicking that
homeless man in the face. Who does he think he is? I mean ask me for some
change, I’ll give him/her the money for a chip roll but asking to touch my
potato filled masterpiece?! Not acceptable!
The rule though with chips not in a roll is very
different. I would be alright if you stretched over and pick a wee chip off my
plate. That’s okay but sadly this doesn’t happen. See my plan when out for a
meal with friends is too wait until they say they’ve finished their meal. As
soon as this happens I pounce into action and grab the plate. Destroying any
chips they left untouched and safely returning them the plate. I mean, now they
have a clean plate, the chef will think the loved that meal and I got free
chips. Everyone is a winner in a situation like this. My point would be I
wouldn’t let anyone eat lots of my chips but now when I think about it, I
wouldn’t leave any.
Cut chips out my life, god it would be different; I’d have
to start eating healthy. Don’t like the sound of that to be perfectly honest. I
do like rice, pasta and sometimes on rare occasion a tiny wee bit of salady
stuff. But to take away chips from Ryan would be like Newton without his apple,
Einsten without his crazy hair style, Brian Blessed without his booming voice
or Chuck Norris without his Chuck Norris. It just wouldn’t fit. Anyway, welcome
to my wee blog that’s going to be full of utter drivel, nonsense and huge
breasts.
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