Big Tony and The Beaver Mafia. Part 1

It was a cold night in September and we were all sitting around the fireplace in the HQ. We were chatting  about games, things that had been happening here at "The Legal Custodians" and various things. It was Jordan's first day back with us after he served his two month sentence for covering 61 people in semen. We have still never fully recovered  from that day and worry that it could happen all over again any minute. But his doctor reassured us that his anti fapping pills would calm his urged to fap constantly. He was restricted to a fap a day and as the old saying goes "A fap a day keeps the huge fuck off semen monster away".

 He seemed quite lively and told us about the things that happened in prison. He met a guy called Frank who kept him safe from anyone in the prison. Saying that, the deal was that Frank would keep Jordan safe for the small price of his anal virginity (Prison can be a nasty place). Jordan never did confirm with us though if he went along with this deal or found another way to keep Frank satisfied. Jordan did inform us though that he made a few enemies in Prison, one being Big Tony who was head of The Beaver Mafia. Me and Drew had never heard of this "gang" but Craig turned and looked at us "Not big Tony!"

"Who's big Tony?" Drew asks.

Leader of the Beaver Mafia "Big Tony"

"He's The Beaver Mafia leader.....they guys are not to be messed with! What the fuck were you playing at Jordan? Making enemies with him?" Craig Shouts!

"Shut your mouth Craig! I was going about my usual business in the food hall eating and drinking burgers and waving at people. It was going well until some cuntbag wouldn't return my wave!" Jordan says convincingly.

We all shake our heads at the same time.

"You can't be serious!? That's the reason you made enemies with one of the worst thugs is Britain?" I shouted!

"Well not exactly....." Jordan said with a shy tone to his voice.

We looked bemused, here was our friend Jordan which we know has his problems (constantly fapping, so addicted to VENT he got "I LOVE VENT" tattooed on his left butt cheek and obviously has his waving fascination) Even with all these strange things we just couldn't think what he could of done to annoy Big Tony this much.

"Well? What did you do?" Drew asks.

"He didn't wave at me so the next day when he left his cell, I sneaked in and left him a wee present" Jordan says smiling.

"Oh god know!" Craig yells.

Jordan points at Craig "Yes! I fapped all over his bed and covered it in!"

"Okay I think we can guess what the bed was covered in! But how did he know it was you?" Drew asks.

Jordan  "Well basically, he walked in and seen me spraying everywhere and I was like...."



Craig shakes his head "This just keeps getting better and better!"

Jordan continues "Then I kind of turned around to face him while I was still spraying and......well......it went in his eye"

Our faces dropped and we all looked really confused. Drew stood up and ran out of the room crying, Craig stood up and pushed Jordan up against the wall, I stood in front of Craig to calm him down.

Craig put his hands up and took a few deep breaths "Then what happened?"

"He was kinda blinded and I ran out of the cell.....He lost his right eye that day" Jordan says worried.

"How did you get out of that place alive?" I ask.

Jordan explains "Well that was my last day of my sentence but as I was leaving the next day, he said to watch my fat arse and that someone from The Beaver Mafia would get me"

"Great! Just great" I shout!

"What are you doing here then you idiot? Get out of here!" Craig shouts

"What? Why?" Jordan asks with worry in his voice.

"Because you've probably just lead half of The Beaver Mafia right to us you fat prick!" Craig Screams out.



"Don't you get technical with me big beak! This is your fault at the end of the day!"

"......How exactly?" Craig asks.

Jordan screams out "If you would of just had sex with me when I asked you I would of never went on that crazy fapping spree and in result would of never went to prison!"

Everything went silent all of a sudden and we all sat down. Craig shocked with his face frozen like he had just seen a naked chimpanzee dance naked in front of him. Jordan was sitting with his hands between his knees and was starting to realise what he had just said out loud and I myself shaking my head in confusing.

Suddenly we heard Drew scream and a window smash. We all jumped up and ran into the front room were we seen a car drive off from the broken window. A brick was on the floor which looked like it could of been used to break the window. It had a note on it, I knelled down and picked up the brick, untying the string to release the note.

" Oh God guys...." I say out loud.

" What!?" Craig shouts!

I start to read the note,

 "Dear faggots,

                       I have your wee gay friend,  we are prepared to trade your wee homo friend for the long haired bastard. If you ever want to see your wee bum boy again you should take up this offer. Meet us at the back of Morrisons in Troon at 7:30pm.

Lots of Love
Kevin
The Beaver Mafia"

I look up to see Craig in mid swing and lands a punch right to Jordan's face. Jordan falls back and starts rolling around on the ground like a seal.

Craig looks up at me and says "He deserved that!"

"We need to get Drew! Lets go!" I shout.

Craig jumps into the Punto and I follow him into the car.

We then see Jordan waddling over to the car "So what's the plan guys?"

"Shut your fucking face you long haired bastard!" Craig shouts.

To Be Continued......